Part 1 · Moving and caring for the body
Caregiver wellbeing
Content under professional review before publication.
1You are not alone, and you are not a bad person
The problem
Caring for someone you love can leave you exhausted, irritable, and guilty for feeling that way. Many people believe they are the only one who feels overwhelmed. They are not: the burden is real and it has been studied.
What is happening underneath
Research on family caregivers is clear: about one in three develops depression, and more than half goes through burnout at some point. It is not because of being weak or loving the person too little: it is because caring, sustained over time and often in solitude, wears anyone down.
Step by step
- Recognize the signs in yourself: tiredness that sleep does not cure, sleeping badly, snapping at small things, getting sick often, losing interest in what you used to enjoy, feeling resentment, or the urge to cry for no clear reason.
- Realize that guilt, anger, and sadness are normal in a caregiver. Feeling them does not make you a bad person.
- Name those emotions instead of swallowing them. Talking about it with someone you trust already helps.
- Accept that you cannot do everything or do it perfectly. Caring well enough is caring well.
- Treat your exhaustion as a sign to ask for support, not as a failure.
What you must never do
- Never demand of yourself that you never feel anger, guilt, or tiredness: they are part of caring.
- Never isolate yourself with those feelings, thinking no one else has them.
- Never speak harshly to yourself for needing help or rest.
When to ask for help
If you feel hopeless, if nothing brings you relief, or if thoughts of harming yourself appear, that is a sign to seek help now: a doctor, a mental health professional, or a support line in your country. You deserve care as much as the person you care for.
2Caring for yourself is not selfish
The problem
Many caregivers stop sleeping, eating well, and seeing people, convinced that resting is abandoning the person. It is the other way around: without you standing, the care collapses.
What is happening underneath
No one can pour from an empty cup. Rest, even short, lowers exhaustion and gives you back patience and clarity to care. It is not a luxury: it is what makes care sustainable.
Step by step
- Look for short breaks in the day: a few minutes to breathe, step outside, have something calmly.
- Care for the basics of your body: sleep what you can, eat on time, move a little.
- Keep, even reduced, one thing you enjoy: reading, walking, seeing a friend, your music.
- Consider respite care: a few hours from an in-home caregiver, an adult day center, or a relative covering for you so you can really rest.
- Treat those moments as part of the care, not as stolen time.
What you must never do
- Never leave your own health for when there is time: that time does not come on its own.
- Never use alcohol, cigarettes, or food as the only way to cope.
- Never feel that resting is betraying the person you care for.
When to ask for help
If you cannot get any rest because there is no one to leave the person with, ask about respite services in your area (adult day centers, in-home caregivers, short stays). In many places they exist, and sometimes there are low-cost options.
3Asking for help and not staying alone
The problem
Loneliness is what hurts the caregiver most. Many carry everything in silence, asking for nothing, until the body or the spirit breaks.
What is happening underneath
Sharing the load and talking with others going through the same thing lowers the feeling of loneliness and, according to studies, improves the caregiver's mood. Asking for help is not weakness: it is what sustains over time.
Step by step
- Make a list of concrete tasks others can do (shopping, cooking, sitting with the person for a while, taking them to an appointment) and spread specific requests among family and friends.
- Accept the help offered, even if they do not do it exactly like you. Done is better than perfect.
- Look for a caregiver support group, in person or online. Talking with someone who understands helps a lot.
- Talk to the doctor or a mental health professional if your mood does not lift. Asking for that help is caring for yourself.
- If there are several relatives, share shifts and decisions, so it does not all fall on one person.
What you must never do
- Never carry everything alone thinking it is your duty to do it without help.
- Never refuse all help so as not to be a bother: most people want to help and do not know how.
- Never shut yourself in silence with what you feel.
When to ask for help
If you feel you cannot go on, that you are alone in this, or that your mood is very low, talk to your doctor and find a support group. There are caregiver networks and guidance services in almost every country; asking about them is a good first step.
4Caring for your body: the back
The problem
Moving, turning, and lifting another person is the most common cause of back injuries in caregivers. An injured back leaves two people without care.
What is happening underneath
The back gets injured when it bears weight bent or twisted. Safe strength comes from the legs, not the waist. The techniques from earlier chapters (transfers, bed, hoist) are not only for the person: they protect your body.
Step by step
- Get close to the person before moving them: the farther away, the more your back suffers.
- Bend your knees and keep your back straight. The strength comes from the legs.
- Use the transfer belt and the equipment (slide sheet, hoist) instead of pure strength.
- Do not twist your waist with weight: move your feet to turn your whole body.
- If something weighs more than you can move safely, do it with two people or a hoist. It is not weakness: it is not injuring yourself.
What you must never do
- Never lift with your back bent or twisted.
- Never lift by force what should go with a hoist or two people.
- Never ignore back pain that appears or grows: it is an alarm.
When to ask for help
If you get back pain, tingling, or weakness in the legs, consult the doctor. A physiotherapist can teach you to move the person while protecting your body, adapted to your case.
What about the home?
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Discover iliapp.com- This content is for educational and general guidance purposes. It does not constitute medical, nursing, therapeutic, or psychological advice, and does not replace in-person evaluation by a qualified health professional.
- Every person and every situation is different. At signs of burnout, depression, or anxiety, it is best to consult a doctor or a mental health professional.
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Content based on public-health and caregiver-support guidance and on internationally recognized clinical consensus. Not affiliated with or endorsed by any organization.